I swear…

I want to blog…. I just haven’t. No good excuse to feed you… The boys are going camping this weekend, leaving me behind… so maybe I’ll find inspiration in my loneliness! Love to all of you!

i miss…

my friends…. you know who you are….life feels empty and weird without you walking with me…. ohh…. sadness.

gas station, not what you think…

About a month ago, on the way home from a late night at Disneyland, I needed to stop for gas. (for those of you that don’t know, Britt works in the OC and takes the bus, so when we go to Disneyland…we pick him up from work and have to pick up the Land Rover at bus station at Tyler Mall on the way home). I called Britt in the car ahead of me and told him the plan. I was confident that going it alone was safe, so he continued home.

I got out of the car, pumped the gas, normal procedure. The kids were both asleep in the back seat. As soon as I was finishing up, screwing in the gas cap, a couple pulled up. They both jumped out of the car. I am always aware of what is going on around me. I have been a “victim” many times to many things, so I know to keep a watchful eye. They caught my attention.

As the male driver got out of the car, I heard a clanking noise. He dropped change everywhere. The female passenger, already on her way into the station heard the noise and started yelling. “Was that our gas money?” she screamed. I very quickly got into the car. I felt chaos coming. As I drove away, I looked in the rear view mirror and could see the young, dirty, sweaty woman chasing after my car, now yelling at me for help. I did what every mother “protecting” her children would do and drove off, admittedly, scared.

I told Britt of all this when I got home and forgot about it.

Two weeks later I am at the gas station headed out of town on a Saturday morning, kidless, on my way to Las Vegas to see Stone Temple Pilots. I was (obviously) very excited. Britt was pumping the gas, and I am sitting in the passenger seat dreaming of how amazing it will be to see my beloved Scott Weiland later that night. When, in the midst of my daydreaming, someone catches my eye.

A young, sweaty woman is asking the man in front of us if she can wash his windows, in hopes of making some money. For whatever reason, she doesn’t ask us. And yes, it is the same girl that was chasing after my car a few weeks ago. Hmmm…. okay. God put her in my path once and made her face clear enough for me to remember. He put her in front of me again.  Only this time, he removed the barriers from that night; kids in the car, no Husband to help discern how to help, daylight….

My mind was a’ racin’.  Can I ignore this?  Is He asking me to do something?   Ah… then that saying, given to me by a beloved friend, that had been on my mind so much lately came ringing. “God is not concerned with your comfort but your character”. Hmmm.. my comfort told me to stay in my nice cool car, with my nice debit card filling up my tank, the protection of my Husband, my yummy snacks packed for the road, on my jolly way to see my favorite band… comfort defined.

At that moment I jumped out of the car. Britt looked at me confused. I said a simple “I’ll be right back”. At this point she was sitting up against the side wall of the building crying. I had no idea what to say. No idea what to do, I knew He would provide those things.

Now, side note… I am scared of people. Everyone to be exact. Social interaction is hard for me. So the thought of walking up to a stranger, one I have already drove away from once, one who is dirty and homeless, begging for money is OUT OF MY CHARACTER. I had to let Him take over.

We had a short conversation. I told her of 211 and the services offered by the county.  I gave her enough money to make a phone call.  I asked her if she KNEW HIM.  She did.  I told her where she could find me again if she wanted.   She told me of how she got where she was. I prayed with her. I begged her to call 211.  I went on my way.

And now instead of allowing fear to rule my ability to see the person behind the circumstances, I pray to see her again.  I return to that same gas station with a watchful eye, not to protect myself, but to look for her.

I remember Jamie and her story today.

no, no, no…he got it all wrong

“But in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

Benjamin Franklin, Letter to Jean Baptiste Le Roy (1789)

If a woman would have written this, I think it would have been a little different, it would have gone something like this:

“But in this world nothing can be said to be certain, expect dishes and laundry”

Lisa Schron, Dancing Through Life (2008)

What do you think? Can I get a “Amen” sisters?

skinny jeans, part 2

random thought, why do they call them skinny jeans when they make you look fat ?  i bought a pair today.  i am a sucker for fashion trend.  no lie.  but really…

Painted Nails…

i have been wanting to paint my nails for over two weeks now. it is one of those silly little things that makes me feel more girly, more put together, and i love that it makes my hands look less manly (i have very ugly knuckles).

it is one of those things on the “list” that never gets done that sits in my conscience like a brick, and adds to feelings of inadequecy.

it is one of those things that makes me feel like i am doing something for “me”. oh gee, now i feel selfish.

sooooo deep, i know…

Jeans.

Okay. I have a question. So I very TRAUMATICLLY learned about 2 years ago from a friends younger cousin that is is “trend” and very NORMAL for teen boys to wear womens jeans. What? Are you JOKING ME? (if you are one of those young people, I was just very suprised, I grew up in the day of baggy MENS pants being trend which old ladies like me (AHHH!) thought were abnormal)

So here is the question. Do the adolescent gentlemen worry about pantie lines like us gals do? If so, what is the solution to this problem? Boxers would “bunch”. “Tighty whities” might leave lines? Do you go with the boxer brief? Do any of you Mom’s know?

I might get arrested if I randomly ask a young man this question in check out line at H&M. I am not perverted, just curious…

i suck.

i know i suck at this thing.  and its the same sob story.  “life has been hectic”, “i have been so busy”, “it’s the holidays” ect, ect, blah, blah, blah…

hopefully i will be able to articulate some of what has been going on besides funny kids stories.  although i do have some of those, and just some classic lisa brain garbage… but i’ll keep you hanging…

my 8

here they are, in no particular order…

1. i love to do laundry. i could do laundry all day long. i love it. i just hate putting it away.
2. growing up i had 3 aspirations. first to be a wife, second a mother. and third, i haven’t told more than 3 people this in my entire life, was to be a pastor.
3. i love art and art history. i could spend days in museums. i like to know the story behind the person and what drove the inspiration behind the piece, the pain, the joy and the journey. my favorite artist is frida khalo.
4. i love to dance. i did jazz and tap from age 3-17. put music on when i am around and see how long i can sit still.
5. in the last few years i have become extremely high strung. i haven’t always been this way and i don’t know how it came about. its really weird.
6. after the first night i met britt, my husband, i went to work the following day and told my girlfriends i wanted to marry him.
7. i hate being pregnant. both my pregnancies were plagued with medical issues. with clayton i had 4 doctors appointments a week, and was prepared that he might be stillborn. in contrast, i don’t mind labor.
8. i love fabric. i probably have @100 yards of it in my office right now. just sitting. i love to look at it, touch it. I create design concepts around it just for fun. not for anyone to ever use. it is close to an obsession.

Space Mountain and Thinking

(So why do I keep posting things about Space Mountain?)

The Fam went to Disneyland last night. Britt has been hold up in his office fort he last two days working on trade show materials/collateral. Kindly he agreed to go the the DL. It is our last week of summer and we are trying to make the best of it! School starts Tuesday!

Anywho, I was on Space Mountain and in the midst of the twisting and turning, the wind against my face and my hair everywhere, I started to reflect on God. I was thinking about how amazingly he created us. How there are minds out there that can figure out the mechanics and engineering needed to launch our bodies into “space” at 28 MPH in a little spaceship. How we just trust that we will walk off okay. How we scream and giggle in delight at any age. Random, I know.